TRUE DISAPPOINTMENT

i've given --- so much chances,
and yet he doesnt appreciate it.
i've been treating him so f-ing lenient,
lenient that i've ever been,
what did he give me?
EMPTY PROMISES.

WHAT THE F.

im so tired of this.
no im not angry,
im disappointed in him.
disappointed in myself to have put hope and trust onto him,
believing that he would change.

what's the use of being so nice to someone when he/she doesnt appreciate?

why must he use excuses to shield himself instead of using the problems to make him stronger.
oh yeah right you said you never used them as an excuse,
what the f lor.
then what's the f attitude you give us?
it affected your attitude, for goodness sake.
why choose to let things affect you and not change the situation?
its not easy, but if you have the determination, why cant you?
why let things influence you so easily?

people chose to give up on you.
but i didnt.
caus i stil saw hope.
but now i only gotten more disappointment.

why should i shed the tears over a person not close to me or whatsoever?
in the first place, why should i care?

ITS ALL MY FAULT OKAY?

and now you are in this state.
all i can do is just to tell you to change,
and nth else.

told you to dye your hair black.
"nod"
and now you tell me "its just a nod"

WHY DO YOU GIVE ME EMPTY PROMISES IF YOU CANT MAKE IT?!
JUST BLOODY SAY NO LAR!
LIKE WHAT YOU DID.
WALK OUT ON US LAH!
do whatever you wanna do.

im such a failure.
i cant do anything to change you.

i know its not easy to live in such bad family background.

i told myself not to care?
but i cant.
i still do.

and now you tell me all those stuff,
make me feel im the one in wrong,
guilty and everything and i cant blame you.

i think some ppl wil know who im referring to.
it might be like a small matter but...
to me its not.

SOUND SO EMO.
WHY I GET SO EMO OVER SUCH STUPID STUFF.
KK, GET OVER IT! :D

so like,
today had the china thingy.

im so lala-ed w weijian.
he's supposed to do the project and he end up playing carrom and whatever.
but nvm,
as long as he complete everything by tmr im okay w it.
if he's not,
hiak hiak.
*krrrrk.

proposed a project to ms ong.
ms ong found it quite okay but the time span for preparation is too lil.
so, we cant implement it >:(

thn went macdonaldddds.
ateeee.
and gossiped.

thn went to library to do the project.
thn went for geog lessons.
totally didnt listen.
kept passing msg w eileen -.-

thn went for DANCE.

changed some steps and everything.

disappointing.

kk so aft dance,
teared a lil but only seemun saw.
im glad only she saw.
like what she always says

"its okay if you cry, but brace yourself up and be stronger aft that"

that made me cry more,
even though they didnt see.
i was alone.
and im glad i was alone,
i could think over the stuff.

i love having 7 jie mei w me whn im down (: